


Martha's Secret Addiction (is fandom_wank)

by LizBee



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-18
Updated: 2007-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 15:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizBee/pseuds/LizBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Does exactly what it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Martha's Secret Addiction (is fandom_wank)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for LifeonMartha's 1000 Martha drabbles. The role of Donna Noble is played by the late, lamented Gunderpants.

"I can't believe that was you," said Martha, shaking her head.

"Me?" Donna drained her wineglass. "I didn't realise that was you -- I thought you were American."

"I thought you were a six-foot dyke with a shaved head and sixty tattoos," said Martha. "Not that there'd be anything wrong with that. 'S just a contrast. Where's that bottle got to?"

There was some scuffling as Martha sought for the wine in her messy quarters, and Donna yelped, "Watch the keyboard!" and in the doorway, the Doctor cleared his throat.

"Sorry!" said Martha, straightening up and pushing her underwear out of sight. "Did we wake you?"

"I don't sleep," said the Doctor, although his bleary eyes and ducky pyjamas suggested otherwise. "What are you two doing?" He squinted at the computer. Too late, Donna thought to close the window, but she was quite, quite drunk, and only managed to enlarge the text. "'Fandom ... Wank'," the Doctor read. "I hope you're not exposing my TARDIS to porn."

"Hell no!" said Donna, at the same time as Martha mumbled, "Maybe the odd NSFW icon."

"So what is it?" the Doctor asked, hijacking Donna's wine.

"Bleeding addictive," said Martha sadly. "I remember, I was supposed to be studying for a neurochemistry final, once, and all I could do was hit refresh. Of course, that was a Potter wank."

"They're the best kind," said Donna. "This traveling through time and space really gets in the way of fandom, though."

"Yeah, I thought it'd been a while since you'd accused anyone of bestiality."

"I'm losing my touch."

"And this is ... fun?" said the Doctor. "I show you the wonders of the universe, and you want to go on the internet and laugh at people?" He shook his head and made a huffy exit that almost distracted Martha and Donna from the fact that he'd just pilfered their wine.

"It's for the best," Martha told Donna. "It'd just mess up the timeline if we told him he'd end up killing Snarry."


End file.
